Sculling in Chicago
OMG where do you row??? YOUR LIFE IS SO AWESOME
Lincoln Park Boat Club! They offer a lot of beginner classes. The membership is like 80-90% women. All of my instructors are rad as all get out.
I don’t know how rivers work, but apparently the teams row from the boathouse down to Maria’s Community bar in Bridgeport. Team efforts!
There’s a lot more spandex than I would’ve thought.
- Lake Michigan is still too cold to swim in.
- My hands are “maple” because there was a hole in my gloves while I stained new Ikea furniture.
- I contemplated paying someone to cut my hair for the first time in my adult life, but took a nap with my cats instead.
- I’ve taken up sculling which is fancy pants row-boating and ducklings came up to my boat.
- I learned how to make cheese!
Look! I’m catching up on people!
Dim Sum (via LV Weekly)
Be still my beating Chicago heart that lacks proper dim sum.
Explaining Men’s Rights Activism to a friend in a handy chart.
There is nothing in the world a movie hero’s girlfriend hates more than heroism. At every turn, she looks for a way to stymie her doughty lover’s acts of courage. If she had her way, the movie would end 40 minutes in and they’d just play Apples to Apples until they both died of old age.
DIALOGUE FROM EVERY MOVIE EVER
LADY: don’t go to the big Thing
HERO MAN: I have to though
LADY: please dont
HERO MAN: no
LADY: [secretly proud]
LADY: dont fly that plane there’s sky everywhere
HERO MAN [over the radio]: sorry im already flying it babe
LADY: dont go to that fight
HERO MAN: babe i got two fists but only one heart
i have to
LADY: i understand
HERO MAN: really?
LADY: no stay home and be afraid with me
HERO MAN: you just dont get it
LADY: i never ever will
LADY: dont go
HERO MAN: im going
LADY: then be careful
LADY: dont go to the big Thing tonight
HERO MAN: i have to
otherwise the guys wont be proud of me
LADY: ill still be proud of you
HERO MAN: lol
no offense but
that doesn’t really count
i already have sex with you i dont really need your respect
like seriously no offense but you dont even have a job
LADY: im a scientist doctor
HERO MAN: ok
LADY: where are you going
HERO MAN: to do my dangerous job i do
LADY: please dont do it tonight
HERO MAN: dont do my dangerous cool job?
dont sell any drugs to antiheroes or strangle guys or kick in some doors because youre a big angry boss man with serious danger inside him
HERO MAN: if you really knew me youd be scared as heck
LADY: oh man thats scary get out of here go do your job
LADY: dont do the thing you’re supposed to do
HERO MAN: why not
i just dont want you to
BAD GUY MAN: hey i got your lady
LADY GIRL: oh man i should never have told you not to go to the thing
BAD GUY MAN: you can save your woman lady or you can do the big hero brave action time
you cant do both things
HERO MAN: i just did
BAD GUY MAN: oh wow
LADY CHICK: im pregnant so from now on ill be even more at home
Sign My Petition: How NOT To Get Signatures
The other day, a group of friends and I were walking by a train station and this guy stops my friend and asks him to sign the petition?
"Hi, we’re trying to get Illinois to allow 3rd-parties on the ballot in November."
This sounded odd to me since since Illinois allows 3rd-parties, but you have to get 3,000 signatures. Changing that requirement from the State Election Board isn’t going to be an unheard of petition.
My friend tried to read the petition before signing but the petitioner was like, “Don’t worry, it’s just language to help 3rd-parties out in Illinois.”
I read it, and it was one of those petitions to get a 3rd-party candidate onto the ballot (not change the voting process) and for the CONSTITUTION PARTY.
I was like, “Oh fuck that. You just want to get the Constitution Party candidate onto the ballot.” I turned to my friend and was like, “They’re some of the most conservative motherfuckers out there. Pat Buchannan ran with them!”
The petitioner then said, "Well, all 3rd-parties are conservative. This is about changing the system!”
I lost it. I just plain lost it.
"Oh you’re right! Jill Stein and Dennis Kuccinich are such conservative assholes. They’re trying to overturn gay marriage in Illinois all time like the Constitution party. You fucking dipshit. You’ve said 3 sentences to us and they were all lies. What exactly are you changing in our system? Huh? Obama is such a terrible liar and you can’t even get a fucking signature without lying to us. I pay the same fucking taxes as you and your platform wants to take away rights from me! How is that about fucking equality you piece of shit hypocrite!"
That is the short story.
My friends started dragging me away, and like you might tempt a child, were like “Hey remember how we’re getting ice cream? You love ice cream!”
Why do men feel threatened by women?” I asked a male friend of mine. So this male friend of mine, who does by the way exist, conveniently entered into the following dialogue. “I mean,” I said, “men are bigger, most of the time, they can run faster, strangle better, and they have on the average a lot more money and power.” “They’re afraid women will laugh at them,” he said. “Undercut their world view.” Then I asked some women students in a quickie poetry seminar I was giving, “Why do women feel threatened by men?” “They’re afraid of being killed,” they said.
— Margaret Atwood, Writing the Male Character (1982)
(Source: rubyreed, via simplyiswise)